I Gave Up
There is this woman in our Dynasty Strong Virtual gym who always shows up with a smiley selfie and some words of encouragement. I first talked with her in July as she was interested in joining a test group with a new program launch. She’s been seeing incredible results and so I reached out to her and asked if I could share her results with you. She shared a bunch of pictures with me today and I am sitting here with my laptop and tears in my eyes as I feel empowered by her story and resolve to be an amazing mother to the 2 of her 4 children that remain here on this mortal earth with her. She said there was a point in her life that “I gave up”. Maybe you are feeling something similar and so I pray that this story reaches you today so that you can be empowered to join us in our community and we will be here to be that suportive friend.
I started this journey for myself and my children. I gave up on myself in 2003 when my oldest son Zack was diagnosed with Acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Zack won his battle with 4 years of treatment. I found myself at my heaviest 220lbs I didn’t even realize I had let myself go.
I was so unhappy with myself unable to keep up with all 4 children and signed up with beachbody and ordered Slim in 6. The weight started to come off. I never did finish that program. Life knock me on my ass again. The little blessings that you bring into this world are the biggest part of your heart and soul. On 2-22-2008 my little Jessica died at the age 12 in a car accident. I felt myself falling apart and relying on anti-depressants just not to feel the pain. I wanted to not be a part of the world!!! Whew that’s hard to say but two years of my life I gave up.
One day I decided I didn’t want to feel like that and slowly came off the anti depressants and then realize that my children were suffering from the pain they saw me in. I started to be a mom again working out with my kids with T-25 and Turbo Fire and the weight was falling off. It took me about 4 years but I was 120 lbs in 2016.
That thing called life kicked my ass again. My son zack was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 17 we had a lot of ups and downs but we made it work. Zack was 21 when someone gave him keys to a car his mental illness ended on 4-16-2016.
I decided that I had to be strong for Kayla and Kyle that I needed to show them that you cannot control everything in life and you can’t live in misery over the things you cannot change. I quit working out until July of this year. I didn’t shut down or rely on anti-depressants. I decided that I’m not the only one going through things that are out of my control. I grieve daily for my children but I also know that they would want to have their mommy happy and healthy to take care of their siblings. I hope my journey of my lowest points to my happiest points inspire people that you don’t have to give up on yourself because you don’t feel deserving. Each and everyone of us are deserving and we get to choose how the outcome is!!! Mine is to show people that even when you hit bottom you can rise above. Loving yourself is the hardest when your healing emotionally.