I was reading this morning a book by @lewishowes where he shared an experience.
Growing up, he was consistently at the bottom of his English class. So when his book, the School of Greatness came out and became a New York Times best seller, he was obviously very proud. But it also planted some high expectations in his mind about what his next book “should” do.
When the next book came out and was released, he had an even larger audience. He had past success, so of course in his mind the new book would become a New York Times Best Seller as well.
For a couple days he was crushed. He felt upset, hurt, and angry, even though he had been hearing from all sorts of people who are being helped by the book.
He shared how he was no longer fun to be around. He wanted this thing that didn’t happen. He had this expectation, and this expectation let him down.
He went on to call this the “expectation” hangover.
He was able to move past this, by realizing that the core reason he had written a book was not to make the list, but to help other people live better lives.
If you tie your confidence to your accomplishments, you’re focusing on things you can’t necessarily control. A better way to do it is to move forward, giving it your greatest effort, impact, creative expression, and consistency. These are things you can control and be proud of yourself in the process.
I’ve seen “expectations” ruin both marriages, relationships in religion, and progress towards one’s meaningful mission in life.
I may not have achieved the highest rank inside of my company.
I may not be the highest paid partner.
I may not have received the CEO leadership award.
But I am extremely proud of the consistency, effort, and impact I have had on a weekly basis never missing for over 12 years. Nobody can take that away from me. That’s where my confidence comes from.
I know the direct impact my daily efforts have.
I know the impact it has on my life and community .
I see how it impacts our own team’s lives .
I know the husband and father that I am.
So I will show up consistently to help other fathers know how to create and maintain healthy habits AND find a way financially to be more present in the home.